What Happened to You

interpersonal rupture and repair is good for building resilience.

And I understood that “hushing my mouth” or silence was the only way to ensure a quick end to punishment and pain.

important, you come to understand that belonging is biology, and disconnection destroys our health. Trauma is disconnecting, and that impacts ev

Some people appear to have a genetically influenced capacity for “hardiness”—they can tolerate a wider range of sensory complexity and stressors. It takes more to dysregulate these people. In contrast, other people appear to be born with a “sensitive” stress response. They are more easily overwhelmed by minor shifts in sensory complexity. Sometimes these people have what’s referred to as

Your own experiences and the echoes of your ancestors’ experiences influence the way you think, feel, and behave.

Our media, our institutions and systems, our communities—all are infused with some elements of bias. In so many instances we pass on the language of superiority, dominance, and oppression in quiet and invisible but powerful ways.

Perry: And I would say that if we better understand how this pain—this trauma—is passed from generation to generation, we have a better chance of intentionally and effectively stopping it.

I’ve just had an Aha! What you’re really looking for is somebody to reinforce the idea that Hey, I’m not crazy. I’m thinking or
feeling this way because of something that happened to me, and I’m having a reasonable reaction. And that person validates that for you.

Our major finding is that your history of relational health—your connectedness to family, community, and culture—is more predictive of your mental health than your history of adversity (see ). This is similar to the findings of other researchers looking at the power of positive relationships on health. Connectedness has the power to counterbalance adversity.

ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE SURVEY