Summary : Start With No – Jim Camp

The “budget” in any negotiation is more than just money. The real budget has three components: time-and-energy, money and emotional investment. And not all of these factors are of equal importance – if time has a value of x, then energy will be calculated as 2x, money as 3x and emotion as 4x. Your job as a negotiator is to be certain you know both your own real budget and that of the other party.

Not only are the best negotiators good note takers, they also have a blank mental state. In other words, they consciously play a mind game to rid themselves of expectations, needs, fears and assumptions. They do this by visualizing a scene from nature that is inspiring – like a sunrise – or by reliving a pleasant experience from their past – like a sporting success while growing up. Revisiting those scenes mentally before a negotiation clears their minds, allowing them to treat the facts as they are presented rather than the way they hope to find them. Creating a blank mental state is a tremendous advantage for professional negotiators and it is something aspiring negotiators can work on.

In-depth research of the facts can overcome the inherent problems with expectations and assumptions but most people aren’t in the habit of doing much basic research. With that in mind, a more accessible tool is to take great notes about what the other person says. This is very simple. As they say something, write it down in your notes. That alone will enhance your focus on what is being discussed. In any negotiation, the most successful negotiators block out their own thoughts and concentrate on what the other person has to say. Taking notes helps you do that. It also helps you make the distinction between what’s being said and what they mean.

If I were a beginner in the study of decision-based negotiation (as opposed to emotion- and compromise-based negotiation), my initial goals would be to focus at all times on my mission and purpose, to control my neediness and never demonstrate neediness, to always allow my adversary to be okay, to have no fear of saying or hearing ‘no’. Right there you have four very straightforward, obtainable, valid goals that, if carefully followed, would make you an excellent negotiator relative to the field. But the real point I want to get across here is the distinction between a goal and a result (or an objective as it is commonly labeled). Goals you can control, objectives you cannot. By following your behavioral goals, you get to your objectives.

Successful negotiators work hard to increase the amount of time spent on activities that relate directly to the negotiation at hand rather than administrative tasks that support those negotiations. They try and act as far as possible in a disciplined, systematic way rather than chasing vague dreams of huge deals. One effective way to become better at this is to keep a written daily record which identifies their strengths and highlights their weaknesses. This regular self-examination and assessment allows them to monitor their behavior and emotions, and to track their impact on the results they achieve. Weaknesses are pinpointed, strengths are identified for further work in the future and self-esteem grows as a rigorous daily record is kept. The discipline of doing this also encourages the person to think about how their time is used.

Too many aspiring negotiators make the mistake of focusing on what they cannot control – the outcome of the negotiation – rather than what they can control – their own behavior and actions. Never fall into that trap. Set goals only in the one area you can have any lasting influence – how you as a negotiator act.

A good negotiator understands the other party cannot reject them personally. The worst they can do is to say no to the proposed deal. Therefore, they don’t worry about being liked, thought of as smart or important. Instead, a good negotiator spends energy on the task at hand – putting together the best business deal possible. And if any particular deal doesn’t come together, a good negotiator doesn’t lose sleep over it. He or she knows there will be many more opportunities to put deals together with others in the future.

Creating a blank mental state is a tremendous advantage for professional negotiators and it is something aspiring negotiators can work on.

By taking notes:

You end up doing less talking – which is good.
You are forced to listen to what the other person has to say – which is what you want.
You relax a little more – which helps you make less emotional and more rational decisions.
You have a permanent record of the key points agreed to.
There is less chance you’ll blurt out something useless – like a price concession.
You will have less opportunity to spill the beans – about your internal cost structure.
You become less likely to fall for traps – like promises of future global alliances or huge pending purchases.

“Think behavior, forget results.”

– Jim Camp