739: The Key to Happiness? Quality Relationships

Happiness is one of those ideas that has an endless number of quotes about where it comes from (and where it does not). We’ve heard many of them so many times we just wave them off and roll our eyes before jumping back on the hamster wheel and chasing the next piece of cheese, completely unaware of the trap we put ourselves in, but what does science say about what makes us happy, what do you need to start focusing on today in order to achieve your happiness, and what must you be aware of in order to give yourself the best chance of a long, healthy, and happy life?
What to Listen For
Why is it so difficult for us as humans to determine what makes us happy?AJ explains why reaching milestones in life or attaining your goals does not equate to overall happinessHow has technology seemingly put happiness further out of reach?Johnny explains how cognitive biases keep us from achieving true happinessWhat is “miswanting” and why do we constantly sabotage ourselves by doing it?What is the Harvard Study on Adult Development and how can you use the findings to achieve your own happiness?How are happiness & health connected and what can you start doing today so you don’t lose both? AJ explains why our focus on achievement as a society can be detrimental to our development when we’re youngWhy are relationships so beneficial to our health and how can you determine whether or not yours are?If you are lonely, why can it be more difficult to find the resources to build the connections science has shown to be so vital to our long term health and happiness?Why is rejection and the handling of it so valuable in today’s society, especially if you don’t want to be lonely and unhappy?What are the physiological benefits of spending time with people you care about?

There is an obvious reason reaching your goals or buying the next great thing does not bring you happiness - if only one thing in your life changes, the other 99% of your life is still the same. You can’t change one thing or achieve one thing or buy one thing and think it’s going to improve every other part of your life. Even if you could “upgrade” every part of your environment you’d still be the same person but with different surroundings, so if you’re not happy now, all those upgrades aren’t going to change who you are inside.


A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!


Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.




Resources from this Episode
Episode 738: What Defines Happiness
Harvard study, almost 80 years old, has proved that embracing community helps us live longer, and be happier
Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades


Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Twitter