How to talk to kids

But, most important, we’d always keep sight of our larger goal—the constant search for methods that affirm the dignity and humanity of both parents and children

Easier said than done

how are we to help them become separate, independent persons? By
allowing them to do things for themselves

Too many questions can be experienced as an invasion of one’s private life.

To Encourage Autonomy
1. Let children make choices.
2. Show respect for a child’s struggle.
3. Don’t ask too many questions.
4. Don’t rush to answer questions.
5. Encourage children to use sources outside the home.
6. Don’t take away hope.

Children will talk about what they want to talk about when they want to talk about it.

“When there
is conflict between us, we no longer have to mobilize our forces against each
other and worry about who will emerge victorious and who will go down in
defeat. Instead, we can put our energy into searching for the kinds of solutions
that respect both our needs as individuals.”

was at her wits’ end.

character).
3. State your expectations.
4. Show the child how to make amends.
5. Offer a choice.
6. Take action.
7. Allow the child to experience the consequences of his misbehavior.

Alternatives to Punishment
1. Point out a way to be helpful.
2. Express strong disapproval (without attacking