It's Not Summer without You

“Earlier, when I said I never wanted you. I didn’t mean it.”

I’ve only ever loved two boys—both of them with the last name Fisher. Conrad was first, and I loved him in a way that you can really only do the first time around. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t know better and doesn’t want to—it’s dizzy and foolish and fierce. That kind of love is really a one-time-only thing.

And then there was Jeremiah. When I looked at Jeremiah, I saw past, present, and future. He didn’t just know the girl I used to be. He knew the right-now me, and he loved me anyway.

My two great loves. I think I always knew I would be Belly Fisher one day.

Conrad picked me up and threw me over his shoulder like I weighed nothing, just like he had the other night.

And then Conrad smiled at me, and whirled me around so fast I almost tripped.

Conrad strode up to us, his eyes gleaming. “I killed it,”

Because I remembered. I remembered everything.

Because, it was more than just a house. It was every summer, every boat ride, every sunset. It was Susannah.

Come back. Be the you I love and remember.

What else do I get?”

If anybody could make things right, it was my mother.