Hardboiled and Hard Luck

I had never felt such a sense of complete reliance on someone—on the very fact of his existence, the knowledge that he was alive

To focus on the unbearable only marred what was sacred

Death isn’t sad. What hurts is being drowned by these emotions

No matter where I was, I always felt that something inside me was stretched to the limit, and there was no relief.

you have strange nights no matter where you are. And they always pass. You just have to force yourself to act like nothing is wrong, and when morning comes everything is back to normal.

. As fond as I was of her, I wasn’t confident that I could love her enough to stay with her, to go on filling the dark, lonely space she carried within her

but the loneliness never went away.
The loneliness of passing time. The loneliness of the fork in the road

Periods in our lives end the way seasons change. That’s all there is to it. Human willpower can’t change that—which means, if you look at it another way, that we might as well enjoy ourselves until that day arrives

when I see too many ordinary people, I start thinking that I’m strange, and that makes me uneasy

I can feel that I’m gradually falling into a very peculiar emotional state. It’s like I’m in a plastic bag, slowly running out of oxygen. Like no one cares what I do anymore, and now it’s too late, there’s no going back