Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead

I’ve got it all figured out. We’re a parasite. Other animals on this planet coexist with nature. We don’t; we’re like scabies. Tiny mites covering the outer layer of earth, burrowing into it, infecting it. We are like tapeworm

I felt like I was never in the moment I was in. I was always looking back, or
worried about the future

I feel very detached from myself physically right now,” I admit. “My mind feels foggy. I can’t really tell if my head hurts or not. I think it does.”

I was out of my mind when I dressed myself this morning

opener doesn’t work. I can’t lock your window. Why don’t you ever get anything fixed?” she asks. “Do you want me to help you get these things fixed?”

“Oh, no thank you, I’m on it,” I lie.

“You’re being quiet again,” she adds. “Are you doing okay?”

I look into her face.

“I’m fine

I am looking into Eleanor’s face on her pillow.

Her eyes are brown.

“Your eyes are brown,” I tell her.

“I know,” she replies, smiling.

“Do you think you’ll want to get married one day?” I ask her.

She snorts. “Wow, I can’t figure you out!”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

She laughs. “Half the time you don’t text me back, and now you’re talking to me about marriage? Don’t

I wonder how often I occupy spaces that were recently inhabited by dead people.

I wonder who will occupy the spaces I’ve inhabited, after I’m dead.

If I get buried, my coffin will be my last space. No one will ever occupy that space but me. That’s a comfort—to have a spot reserved only for me forever.

“How are you going to support yourself if you can’t keep a simple job at a bookstore? I really hope that you don’t plan to just marry some rich man, sweetie. I can’t bear to think—”
“I’m gay,” I remind her.
“Exactly!” she retorts. “It would be especially dishonest.”

says, “Oh dear it’s you.”
I am not sure if he was using the word “dear” as a term of endearment, like “sweetie” or “honey,” or if he was saying, “Oh dear” as in, “Oh no

dip a toe into the church like I am testing the water in a hot bathtub.